Dealing with bad board game behavior

When you play board games you will eventually be exposed to bad player behaviours in your game group. These behaviours will be disruptive and take away from the experience for everyone. It usually falls to the host to deal with these people, which I find to be unfair. It really is best if the whole group is supportive of the host and the bad player. Most bad players don’t realize they are presenting a negative behaviour nor do they see how they are affecting the game. Keeping this in mind deal with the person with respect and tact. If at all possible get in a one on one situation where the player doesn’t feel attacked. Point out the negative behaviour and explain why it’s an issue. Be prepared for them to point out your bad behaviour as well, and be open to that criticism. Most people are understanding and will genuinely want to get along with the other players. Usually bad behaviour stems from a strong need to win. Oddly enough most of these bad behaviours can cost players the chance win.

Below is a list of player types I have encountered, or have been. In my experience we are all guilty of being at least one of these player types at some point. Behaviours on this list are very easy to slip in to and can become habit forming. Recognizing the problem is the first step towards solving it.

The Rules Lawyer – I will start off with this one as it's the one I know I'm very guilty of. This player will often argue over the interpretation of the rules for their own gain. The issue comes from wording of the rules, often a phrase could be interpreted in ways not expected by the game designer or a situation comes up that isn’t covered in the rule book or a loophole exists in the rules. Sometimes the rules lawyer knows that they are talking nonsense they just want to see if you will buy it. Most games now have online FAQ/Errata/Clarifications. Have these handy in order to resolve arguments quickly. Ensuring everyone at the table clearly understands the rules prior to starting the game will also limit the rules lawyers disruptions. The rules lawyer needs to learn that their disruptions hurt the flow of a game and bring down the fun level for the other players.

The “Real Player” – This player thinks they are the only one at the table who knows how to play a game. Frequently lectures other players and often downplays the accomplishments of others while highlighting their own. If this player isn’t kept in check it will ruin the game for novice and veteran players alike. Try to help this person understand that everyone at the table is valued and should be allowed to play their way. After all without the other players the game cannot happen. Respect them.

The Extreme Player – In western society there is a strong sense that winning is everything. For this player type the need to win goes to an extreme. They feel if you aren’t willing to alienate people you aren’t playing the game right. They are ruthless players who will do anything to win. This player relishes competition so cooperative board games are probably going to be difficult to play with them. This player tends to find themselves opposed heavily by all of the other players at the board because of this attitude. The natural reaction of most players is to form an alliance to oppose this player. Try to educate this player on the cause/effect correlation of the negative behaviour and how changing it could actually help them win more often.

The Quiet Type – This player tends not to contribute much and rarely talks. Try to engage the player but give them space. Some people are quiet because of shyness while others enjoy spectating the conversation. Just because someone isn’t talking doesn’t mean they aren’t enjoying themselves. However if you are playing a more social game this may limit other players options and bring down the fun level. Most quiet types have an interest that if socialized about will bring them out of their shell. Try to engage them with this interest prior to the game session to get them in a sociable mood. Most shy types just need to feel comfortable in the group to let out their inner social butterfly. Give them the time to get there.

The Whiner – Whine until I win is this player’s motto. This player will complain if things aren’t going their way. The worst will use emotional blackmail to get things to go their way. Don’t give in otherwise the whining will never end. Of course try to keep the current atmosphere in mind as the player just might be the next type of bad player.

Cranky pants – Any player can become a cranky pants player. A bad day, personal issues, bad luck with rolls or cards, being tired or hungry can all affect the player. Patience and understanding are necessary and will be appreciated. If a player is being excessively cranky try to take a break and give the player time to cool off. Sometimes people just need to vent their frustrations or get a little space to reset to a better mood. Be willing to admit you are being a cranky pants and figure out how you can fix your head space in order to get back to being a better player.

The Table Flipper - Of this behaviour type, flipping a table is the most extreme (and usually only joked about) This player will knock over the board or make it impossible for the other players to continue the game. This players mindset is "If I can't win no-one can!" By ending the game this way the player feel some sense of victory because now everyone else feels how this player does. The trick is to not feel that way. Reset the board to figure out the winner and continue to have fun. In the long term try to teach this player winning isn't everything.

The Bully – This player resorts to threats in order to get their way. They are all about the “Don’t do that or else” attitude. Shut this down quickly because eventually the bully will feel the need to follow up on their threats. This player needs to understand that no-one at the table will be willing to put up with the behaviour. All players should be allowed to play to the best of their ability and should not be coerced or bullied into playing differently. Understand that even if you aren't the current target of the bully their attention will swing your way at some point.

The Cheater – This player wishes they could live in cheat mode. They can’t understand not using a konami code. Teaching this player that winning isn’t everything is essential. Show them that the challenge of working within the rules is more rewarding than the hollow victory caused by cheating. It’s usually obvious that a player is a cheater so have everyone keep an eye on this one.

The Braggart – While no-one likes a sore loser neither do we like a bad winner. After all it’s just a board game. The immature attitude of the braggart rubs people the wrong way. Lead by example and show good gamesmanship. Congratulate the player but also congratulate others on their good plays, make sure everyone at the table feels appreciated. Help this player get some perspective on just how unimportant it is to win a simple board game. 

The Coddler - My mother is this player type. This player is the ultimate peacemaker and helper. They will go out of their way to prevent conflict and help others win. While this may sound fantastic it goes to an extreme that sucks the fun out of a game. To use my mother as an example she still tries to look at my scrabble tiles to help me make better words and points out how I can get the triple words. It makes me feel like my contributions to the game aren't good enough. She also tries to quiet everyone when we get a little loud and insists we stop fighting when people are just venting a little frustration. Board games are all about competition and friendly conflict (conflict isn't always a bad thing.) That's why they are fun. This player removes these aspect of the game for the other players. The player needs to learn that most players understand defeat is a risk of playing a game, they don't need to be protected from it. And let people play their own way. After all that mistake you think you see might be a ploy or new strategy you didn't predict.

No attention span – This player never knows whose turn it is, they have side conversations, and are frequently leaving the table to do something else. This players level of distraction is a huge distraction for everyone else. Try to play in a room without electronics and have the room set up before the game starts. (snacks, drinks etc.) Limit their excuses for going elsewhere. Get this player to understand that all of the players at the table deserve to have their own uninterrupted turn. Every player deserves respect for their contributions to the game. Understand that this player's interest level in board games may not be to your level, but try to get them to understand how their actions make others feel. While game night is a social night, the social activity that is being engaged in is the board game. At any game night make sure there is time before and after the game for other social activities. After all your gaming group has lives outside the games you play, socializing about these lives is a natural behaviour.

The Never Ending Turn Player – Often coupled with the no attention span player type. These players wait until their turn to evaluate their position and make a decision. Most people make comments or hum the Jeopardy tune to try to hurry the player along. This usually just distracts the player and makes the turn longer. Teach this player effective strategies to prepare themselves out of turn and how this will make the game flow better and resolve faster. This player is usually inexperienced so have patience with this player and allow them to have their turn otherwise you will become the next bad player type.

The Pusher - This player pushes other players to hurry their turns so that the pusher can get to their own turn. This is extremely disrespectful. Each player should be allowed the time to make their best possible contribution to the game. Even the most skilled players will need extra time on their turn if their plans were suddenly interrupted by an opponents genius play. Remind this player that it's the actual play of the game that is fun, not just the winning at the end.

It’s Always my turn –  Often couples with the pusher type and the polar opposite of the no attention span type. This player is constantly focused on their position in the game. No matter whose turn it is they will be trying to exchange with the banker or resetting things on the board so it’s ready for them. It may be difficult to get them to understand how negative their behaviour is because they think that it’s helping everyone, when it’s really just distracting. Get them to understand that being prepared for their turn is fantastic; just execute what they want to do only on their turn. Again this is about respecting the other players' contributions and allowing everyone else to have an uninterrupted turn.

Behaviour Police - This player will focus on correcting other players. They will bark orders of "don't do that" or "play like this!" Ironically this person will love this list wand will use it like a club to beat out the bad behaviours of others. The occasional slip up or perceived behaviour issue is to be expected on game nights. We all make slips in social situations. If a player exhibits one of these negative behaviours it shouldn't be cause for alarm or issue in the game group. Most negative game behaviours are more about inexperience than about intentionally being mean or evil. Usually the game does not need to be disrupted to deal with bad behaviour immediately. A "better than you" attitude will not be appreciated and can never solve the issue.

The GM Hater – A term stolen from role-playing. These players feel that the only way to prove themselves is by beating the games owner or host and humiliating them. This one is sometimes difficult to spot unless you are the target of the player. From everyone else’s perspective it may seem they are just doing normal game play. If you spot this activity call the player out and try to get them to understand that the point of playing a game is for everyone to have fun. There are no bonus points for beating the owner.

The Troll – This player will often treat the game as a joke and do what they can to make the game less enjoyable for other players. This player tends to be a friend or significant other of one of the players. This player would rather be doing something other than gaming. There is little you can do with this player because their whole goal is to disrupt the game and get it to end. They have no feeling of kinship to the other players and dismiss you as a nerd. Try to find a game that this player would enjoy and try to bring them into the gaming fold. Try to get them to understand that it is their disruptions that cause a board game to run into overtime. Other than that I have to admit I actually could use some help with this type of player. If I can't find a game they like, then I can’t think of a way to deal with them without alienating the friend that brought them.

THE MUNCHKIN – The most dreaded of the bad players. Initially this term was used to describe young new role players but has evolved to encompass any player who hasn’t developed enough emotional maturity to play well with others. This player will exhibit multiple (if not all) of the previous bad player types. This player will be very selfish and will only care if he/she is having fun. In my experience I find that if confronted these players will say and do anything to appease other players in the short term but return to their negative behaviours quickly. They see nothing wrong with their behaviour and have little to no intention of changing it. I have yet to develop an effective strategy for dealing with the munchkin. I find these players eventually become the Yoko Ono of gaming groups. If they aren’t removed from the group, the rest of the players will begin to focus on the negatives and the group eventually falls apart. If anyone has suggestions on effective means of dealing with the Munchkin I would love to get your comments.

So to finish off, most of the bad player types stem from an overly strong need to win, or lack of experience, or a lack of understanding of how ones behaviour is effecting other players. By teaching a player that the point of playing a board game is for everyone to have an enjoyable social night you can bring them around to being fantastic players. Always remember the point of playing the board game is for everyone to have fun. Your board game wins will be forgotten by others but how you played the game will always be remembered. Winning friends is always more important than winning a board game. Of course playing to win is all part of the game. If you would like some advice on that I have a post about it here.